You spend months planning it. You've talked about it to anyone who will listen for hours on end. But after the big event, how do you remember your wedding day? How do you treasure every intimate detail of the day which, more than any other day of your life, was so carefully prepared for?
The fact is, memories are powerful. When you say 'I do', you're making a lifetime commitment. It won't always be easy to keep those vows, but your memory is a powerful tool in helping you remember why it's worth it. Every memory you build with your spouse is another beautiful thread in the tapestry of your lives, weaving you closer together. The more threads, the harder it is to break them apart. Valuing memories together shows how much you value your relationship.
So how can you find ways of remembering your wedding day together, so that each year of your marriage celebrates your love and strengthens it?
1. Your wedding album. There's something so very special about a wedding album. I remember as a child, the thrill of excitement whenever my Mum pulled down a black box and brought out the off-white, silken album. I loved the patterned texture of the cover and the rustle of tissue paper, the sheen of the photographs and the thickness of the paper.
They probably only had about twenty photos in there, but each one was a unique moment in time. A February wedding with unexpected snow; the garden photos revealed the white frosting on the lawn. The digital age means that most couples receive many more images of their day, and reportage style photo journalism means that even more of those one-off moments are captured forever.
I think it's great that couples can have CD of pictures, but don't miss out on a professional album as well. In the future, when you want to look through photos together and be swept off to that romantic and beautiful day you shared together, being huddled over a screen or amidst the glare of Facebook isn't going to create the right atmosphere! Get an album, and don't cut corners. Make sure it's perfect.
2. Video the ceremony. Now, I have to admit I was sceptical about this. When we got married, there were much-loved relatives who couldn't be there and that was the sole reason we arranged for our service to be filmed. But we have watched our wedding DVD every year at least once - and we're coming up to our fifth anniversary this year. It's surprising how much you forget... and how much that recording helps you to remember!
3. Use a famous poem or reading. I'm all for a bit of Shakespeare ('Let me not to the marriage of true minds/ Admit impediments...') and the apostle Paul's description of love in 1 Corinthians 13 ('Love is patient, love is kind...It does not keep a record of wrongs') always challenges and inspires me. If you use something well known, you're likely to come across it again and again and again... and every time, it will remind you of your special day.
4. Write a diary entry on the first day of your honeymoon, recording absolutely every detail you can possibly remember from your wedding. It's great to both write your own account, but work together so that you make sure you remember as many details as possible. It may seem that your day was so wonderful it's impossible to forget, but the memories will fade unless you preserve them while they're still strong in your mind.
5. Renew your vows regularly. I'm not talking about hiring a church and having a second wedding (though this kind of formal occasion can work well for a milestone anniversary), but just you and your spouse, repeating your vows to each other and expressing verbally that you still love each other and you're still committed for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health. As time goes by, your vows take on new meanings with all that you've shared together. Repeating them is a great way to say 'I love you' in a deep, rich way, and also sparks a reminiscence of your day which you can delight in nostalgically.
The fact is, memories are powerful. When you say 'I do', you're making a lifetime commitment. It won't always be easy to keep those vows, but your memory is a powerful tool in helping you remember why it's worth it. Every memory you build with your spouse is another beautiful thread in the tapestry of your lives, weaving you closer together. The more threads, the harder it is to break them apart. Valuing memories together shows how much you value your relationship.
So how can you find ways of remembering your wedding day together, so that each year of your marriage celebrates your love and strengthens it?
1. Your wedding album. There's something so very special about a wedding album. I remember as a child, the thrill of excitement whenever my Mum pulled down a black box and brought out the off-white, silken album. I loved the patterned texture of the cover and the rustle of tissue paper, the sheen of the photographs and the thickness of the paper.
They probably only had about twenty photos in there, but each one was a unique moment in time. A February wedding with unexpected snow; the garden photos revealed the white frosting on the lawn. The digital age means that most couples receive many more images of their day, and reportage style photo journalism means that even more of those one-off moments are captured forever.
I think it's great that couples can have CD of pictures, but don't miss out on a professional album as well. In the future, when you want to look through photos together and be swept off to that romantic and beautiful day you shared together, being huddled over a screen or amidst the glare of Facebook isn't going to create the right atmosphere! Get an album, and don't cut corners. Make sure it's perfect.
2. Video the ceremony. Now, I have to admit I was sceptical about this. When we got married, there were much-loved relatives who couldn't be there and that was the sole reason we arranged for our service to be filmed. But we have watched our wedding DVD every year at least once - and we're coming up to our fifth anniversary this year. It's surprising how much you forget... and how much that recording helps you to remember!
3. Use a famous poem or reading. I'm all for a bit of Shakespeare ('Let me not to the marriage of true minds/ Admit impediments...') and the apostle Paul's description of love in 1 Corinthians 13 ('Love is patient, love is kind...It does not keep a record of wrongs') always challenges and inspires me. If you use something well known, you're likely to come across it again and again and again... and every time, it will remind you of your special day.
4. Write a diary entry on the first day of your honeymoon, recording absolutely every detail you can possibly remember from your wedding. It's great to both write your own account, but work together so that you make sure you remember as many details as possible. It may seem that your day was so wonderful it's impossible to forget, but the memories will fade unless you preserve them while they're still strong in your mind.
5. Renew your vows regularly. I'm not talking about hiring a church and having a second wedding (though this kind of formal occasion can work well for a milestone anniversary), but just you and your spouse, repeating your vows to each other and expressing verbally that you still love each other and you're still committed for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health. As time goes by, your vows take on new meanings with all that you've shared together. Repeating them is a great way to say 'I love you' in a deep, rich way, and also sparks a reminiscence of your day which you can delight in nostalgically.
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